I am going to open this post by contradicting myself. I am special. I am special because I am a daughter of God. But I do not think I am special because I adopted two boys with down syndrome. I know that statement is hard for some people to understand or agree with. I believe in adoption. I believe in adoption like I believe that God, the Father adopted us as His children. He loves us no less than His begotten Son, Jesus Christ. That was inconceivable to me until I adopted. I don’t love my boys ‘like they are mine’ no, they ARE mine. They own my heart.
I am so sad right now because I miss my boys something awful. We brought them home on May 23rd. Seven days later Elijah was admitted to the hospital for RSV and spent two weeks there. Then 5 weeks ago he had open heart surgery and has been in the Hospital ever since. He has had multiple complications along the way and in total 3 surgeries. His most recent a G-tube surgery from which he also had complications. Every time I think he is close to coming home something happens. He has now been in the hospital more than he has been home. They told us he might come home this Sunday….we will see.
Andrew then had open heart surgery last week. He was seeming to heal nicely and recover well. It was supposed to be a pretty direct heart repair. He was having an ECHO in preparation to come home when they discovered that both of his valves were leaking one of them pretty badly. They are going to discuss his case on Friday, an additional surgery or a wait and see approach.
I am not special. I am not wonder woman or super mom. I am not rolling in money. I have a very modest 1200 square foot house with 4 kids, a dog and 3 chickens in an old, broke-down railroad town. Life is very, very hard right now. Yes, I chose this life. I chose to adopt a child with down syndrome but that does not mean that I am immune to the stress and worry that comes with a kid who has extra medical needs. But to me, this was never a reason not to adopt. These boys are totally worth it. They are now loved beyone measure.
‘Courage is not the absence of fear, no,
just the determination that something else is more important’
A photo recap of our last 5 weeks